it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
