After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
