so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so let's talk penis.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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