dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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