If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
