I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
