ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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