We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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