so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
