I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
