with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
