Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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