the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
