it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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