atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
