the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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