You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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