But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
