My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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