I'm so fucking centered right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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