so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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