What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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