If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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