i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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