so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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