Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
