It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
