TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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