ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
