shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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