i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
