I have demons in me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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