My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
