Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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