Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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