STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
