if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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