I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
