people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
