I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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