I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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