Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
