Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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