I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
