piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize