absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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