im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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