PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
