So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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