"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
