So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
