hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
