when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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