this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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