You work out of a Hotel?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
