Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
