Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
