doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I smell stomach acid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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