Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they're like a gay fantastic four
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
