Welp...herpes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
