I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
