I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
