Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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